When you're going through any divorce, it is likely one of the most difficult times you've ever faced. The life you knew is no longer, and the future is uncertain. It can feel overwhelming.
If your divorce is contentious, it can seem even worse. You're hurt. You're angry. And you have to make decisions that will affect you and your children for the rest of your life. It may seem nearly impossible to make logical decisions during a time when you're hurting most. But your future depends on it.
When it comes to the kids
If you have minor children, the thought of losing time with them is gut wrenching. If you are unhappy with your former spouse, the prospect of giving up time with your children so that your ex can have more time with them may seem unfair at best.
Though it's always easier said than done, you have to think of what's good for your children. Most times, that's going to be the ability to see both parents regularly. It's not an ideal situation for anyone involved, but you'll know that you did what was best for your kids.
Letting go of the things you love
You're losing the life you knew, time with your children and your spouse. Now, you're facing losing your family home. If given the option between keeping the house and, for example, your share of a retirement account - the emotional side of you may think that the house is the better choice. The memories you made there are invaluable to you. You can't imagine losing those too.
Realistically, however, the house may no longer be a financially feasible option. A home is expensive to maintain, and it's likely your financial circumstances are going to much different than they used to be.
If your children are about to head off to college or have already, it will be a lot of unused space as well. You can always take the memories with you, but in most situations, letting go of the house will be a better financial decision down the road.
Fighting for what you're owed
Perhaps you are very angry with your soon-to-be ex spouse. You believe you deserve more than what you are getting or that the assets were not divided properly, so you want to take the matter to court.
The truth is, the legal battle may cost you more than what you are fighting for. If you are upset over a $5,000 piece of jewelry, and your legal fees are going to cost $20,000, it might be better to just let it go.
A good family law attorney will guide you through your options and help you make smart, savvy decisions to best protect your future.